I am an Assistant Professor.
I would like to ask the powers that be (either at CMU or in the world at large) to change the title "Assistant Professor" to something that sounds a little more...important? Maybe "Young Professor?" I'll even take "Professorling."
After I gave a keynote talk at a conference for CTOs and CIOs of large corporations, a very nice gentleman asked me this: "You seem to have accomplished a lot; why are you only an assistant to a professor and not an actual professor?"
For those of you who don't know this, let me set the record straight: (at least in the United States) Assistant Professor is the job title given to professors when they start their tenure-track job at a university. It does not mean we are an assistant to a real professor. It just means we have been a professor for less than six years.
Mom: I swear, I'm a real professor.
Boss: In case it's not feasible to change this general title within the university, another way to fix my particular problem is to simply remove the word assistant from my own title.