Research statements, recommendation letters, GREs. 'Tis the season again for grad school applications. To save all the kiddies from embarrassment and rejection (which typically implies you'll just end up making more money at some tech company), I decided to write a list of DOs and DON'Ts to follow when writing your application. Perhaps the sage readers will have more advice in the comments.
1. DON'T start your research statement with a quote from Albert Einstein. You may think that's a good idea, but so do the other 50% of the applicants. Hell, don't start it with any quote, unless it's from something like Gossip Girl. XOXO.
2. DON'T say you've wanted to be a professor since you were 4 years old. We won't believe you. When you were 4, you either wanted to be a policeman, an astronaut, or a firefighter. Admit it.
3. Computer Science is a field with many fads. Therefore, DON'T say you want to do research on genetic algorithms, or expert systems. Those are so 1980s. DO say you want to work on algorithmic game theory, cloud computing, or green computing.
4. DON'T have your recommenders write that you are "from a good family." Unless that family has a Turing Award or two, we don't care.
5. DON'T say you have a proof that P != NP and that you will only show it to us if we admit you. We may have admitted a guy like that once, but this mistake will not be repeated, so come up with your own gimmick.
6. DON'T start your statement with "respected sirs." There are women in the faculty too, you know.
7. DO mention the name of a professor that you want to work with, but make sure the professor is still alive.
8. DON'T have a "recommender loop" in which you write a recommendation letter for somebody that is writing a recommendation letter for you. At least make the cycle of longer length to confuse us a bit.
9. DO read over the version of the application that you submit to each school after doing a find-and-replace for the school name. Typos can creep up -- "I've always wanted to go to MIT, because the Barkeley faculty are the best."
XOXO.
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10. If applying to Berkeley, learn to spell it.
ReplyDeleteBerzerkeley
ReplyDeleteHow is #8 even possible?
ReplyDeleteAh, I'm glad you ask. There are applicants from other countries who are already professors wherever they come from (I guess they don't need to have a PhD to be professors there).
ReplyDeleteI heard of one similar to #9. It said something like "If I were adCMUted to CMU." I don't think that guy was adCMUted.
ReplyDeleteI actually failed at #10. The Berkeley faculty were amused that my statement said I wanted to go to Stanford; they admitted me anyway. Apparently, Stanford was less amused.
ReplyDeleteRegarding 8: Most "professors" in India are actually lecturers. Few departments in most colleges even have people with a PhD. My engineering college (which was one of 24 engineering colleges affiliated to the University) had probably 3-5 PhDs overall. (Of course we had only 3 engineering departments to major in & a handful of faculty to teach the "other" courses like math, basic sciences and so on).
ReplyDeleteOh, and a Bachelors degree is sometimes sufficient to become a lecturer. The process seems very ad-hoc, but the courses and syllabus is fixed by some committee and changes only once in few years. (With my masters and me working towards a PhD, I'm more qualified than most teachers in my undergrad college)
On a another note, these professors have no clue how to write the letters. So they just say, "Write up a draft and I'll make some changes and sign it." And so, there are sometimes "experts" and "consultants" who charge fees to write those letters, which those professors will just sign.
I went through the process of getting recommendation letters at my US university and realised how different things are here. But I have no clue how to enforce this method back home.
Oh, and asking the profs to create a login and fill it online will not work either... There are work arounds :P
I failed at one of these too. I misspelled the name of one of my would-be advisors when applying to a school.
ReplyDeleteI'm now a happy graduate student there.
Your advice has brought about some interesting discussions. There are some similar discussions going on at GradShare. It's worth checking out: www.gradshare.com
ReplyDeleteI've been through such a period when I was applying for mine, I want to ask just a little question, why always it should be always that rude as if you are screaming, or something! apparently people can understand they are not stupid, aren't they..
ReplyDeleteIt's not just you, no it's kinda tradition all over the world :(
#2: When I was 4, I wanted to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle… or a professor.
ReplyDeleteDon't apply to Grad school, total waste of time and mental drainage.
ReplyDeleteGo out in the real world, challenge yourself and make it big. Grad school is for lazy intellectuals
"Go out in the real world, challenge yourself and make it big. Grad school is for lazy intellectuals"
ReplyDeleteCompletely Agree..
-- A Grad Student
Devin, thanks a lot for your link
ReplyDeleteThis post reminds me of this online lecture [Yale - Game Theory #23 - at academicearth.org] that discusses the self-selection that is inherent in those who choose to attend grad school or not, and how applicants to the "Boring Bank of Boston" self-select in their application methods. Interestingly, I self-selected, amongst my siblings, by not attending graduate school, and in the long run (not Keynes's long run) they have tended toward higher standards-of-living.
ReplyDeleteURL: academicearth.org/lectures/asymmetric-information
Number 1...you killed me, I was starting with a quote of my mom.
ReplyDeleteNicely put professor.
ReplyDeleteI'm in stitches :-)
I have been visiting various blogs for my term papers writing research. I have found your blog to be quite useful. Keep updating your blog with valuable information... Regards
ReplyDeleteThanks man for you advice.
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